illness

im lowkey scared i have cancer or something really bad 😬 maybe im dramatic but ive been researching my symptoms and reasons a doctor prescribes this specialised test my doctor wants me to do and it tests for cancer and weird growths... and also i lost 10% of my body weight in the last 3 and a half months..., people have been telling me i look tired and i am exhausted all of the time even when i slept well. at first i tried to eat less, but that was maybe for 2 weeks? and now i still keep loosing weight despite eating chips and lots of snacks (except for the days i loose my apetite and i dont want to eat anything at all) 

i went to get fast food with classmates today and i feel so bad i dont know what to do and meds dont help

my layout is broken idk why?? 

doctor update

hii its almost midnight and i'll go to sleep soon but i want to write an update about my new doctor

i was very stressed but she read my results and documentation thoroughly, she listened to me and gave me some medication but she also wants me to get a specialized scan for diseases (it rules out cancers as well as other smaller things) but i can get it done in a few months from now

i almost cried going back home bc i dont want to go to the hospital again. im really tired of this:( i just want to know whats wrong

today i did my painting homework in the morning, went to class and later played minecraft with friends :D 

my boyfriend already went to sleep bc he has classes in the morning i love this sweet boy so much

doctor

im going to a new doctor today and im a bit stressed i hope she actually listens to me and finds a solution for what im struggling with 🫡 or at least gives me some tests to do or some input not like my last doctor who was telling me its all in my head :( i hate hate hate hate feeling like this and its bothering me every day and its so embarrassing i dont want to tell anyone about it... i'll update later wish me luck 🍀 

identity crisis 😔

 im probably a little bit nonbinary (not a 100% but a little) but i dont have the time or energy to think about it right now and id rather people just treat me as a guy than weird (i know they already do) and i want to fit in a little 💔 

 

heyy

im going back to uni and my bf today 

i really dont want to ride the train. i just made myself breakfast, i eat the same thing every day

now im on the platform and my train is running late 😔 im a bit nauseous and i dont have a place reservation so i'll be standing for the next few hours. 

but i'll be listening to music and maybe i'll search for new converse to buy ;p

a screen of my feed before i change it :)

 

everything hurts and im really sad and alone :(