lowkey dont want to be alive

omg what is my fucking problem i dont want to be here anymore why am i like that i dont want to be alone why does noone understand what im going through i donny kno w how to explain it but everything is just worse i dont want to be here i want to go home but there is no home im so done with everything i want to be gone and not feel all these emotions i dont wven know what they are what is wrong with me what do i d what do i do sometimes i just wanna off mself im sorry im sorry im sorry everything was fine now suddenly nothing is okay what happened to me my room is a mess and so is my life my mind why dont i have actual friends whom i could talk about this to i want to cry so bad but my nose is gonna stuff up again and im not gonna be able to breathe i dont need that rn bc i already feel like im trapped i dont know what to do what is happening to me 

i dont want anything

i dont want to do anything. its night. i hate it. i felt horrible in the morning then i had a break and i feel terrible at night. i dont want to be here or anywhere. im so itredbut i dont want to go to sleep. i dont want to lay down but i dont want to go anywhere. i dont want to be here. i dont. why am i getting depressed again 

feeling a bit depressed at night

i am so tired but i have not been sleeping well lately. all my friends are on vacation. all of them. 

also i dont know if i can call all of them friends. 

but at leastvmy boyfriend is my friend too. but they are on vacation of course. i feel so isolated. i went on a short bike ride. it helped a little bit but not much 

01:51 

im too hot and too cold. and i cant breathe. my nose is runny. 

i am so tired. but not sleepy 

im sick of all if this

im sick of not having actual friends here. bc these ones talk to me at school, sure but i have nothing to talk about with them except school drama. dont get me wtong,i love drama and im kinda nosy even though i try not to show it, but thats all we talk about.