push ups

31 oct: 5 x 10 door frame push ups 

1 nov: 3 x 10 door frame

            2 x 10 sink (at parents home)

2 nov: 1 x 10 door frame

            1 x 10 sink (parents)

school trip

im a bit sad and tired and in pain.

i had a school trip today amd it was fine, i liked gaming with my friend and i liked the museum a lot

but now everything hurts me 

abd my bf wont go to sleep 

im also very dysphoric and feel bad about myself in genetal but i have noone to talk to at this moment 

i feel like if i hurt myself people would tell me why didnt i talk to someone but rifht now idk who to talk to im really embarrassed about things im going through in my head 

gratuitude journal, october

im grateful my course is combined and i dont have to do two diplomas

im grateful i had something to eat today on my school trip

im grateful i have my console so that i can play games with my friend 

im grateful that my last name isnt gendered

im grateful im studying my dream course

im grateful its such a beautiful autumn day today

im grateful my boyfriend comforts me when im feeling sad 

im grateful that my friend invited me to a halloween party even if i cant go

im grateful i have a great drawing teacher 

im grateful i have really cool blankets to make my bed with

im grateful my boyfriend made us dinner today 

im grateful that i live somewhere that has any access to hrt 

im grateful there was a seat for me on the bus 

im grateful that my doctor was so kind to me today

im grateful that i can read a book on the train

im grateful that my boyfriend loves me so much and we love each other so much

im grateful that i have a seat on the train 

im grateful i can afford specialist doctors

im grateful my mom drove me home 

im grateful that my bed is clean

im grateful that i have alergen free products at home

im grateful that i had a lizard once

im grateful that i have/used to have a big room

im grateful that the party outside quieted down a little bit so i can sleep

im grateful it wasnt rainy today

im grateful my bf asked me how i was feeling

im grateful i have a working phone

im grateful i have nice working headphones 

i dont feel good

im in pain and also im sad but my bf is busy so i cant tell him anything 

even when hes not busy i dont talk about how i feel that much bc hes looking at his phone too much and i dont feel like hes listening

i know hes busy and stressed lately but i want to feel connected and listened to and i want him to pay attention to me 

im sick but i want to bake something today:3

10:30 get out of bed 

10:35 shower

11:05 watching tiktok with bf

11:25 cooking breakfast

12:00 breakfast

12:10 meds restock

12:20 coffee and hanging out 

13:05 poop break

13:35 clearing out my desk

13:45 homework

15:35 making a shopping list/discussing dinner ideas, ate a bit of bread

16:25 homework

16:35 vacuuming, fixing the radiator

16:55 homework

17:15 making dinner

18:30 dinner 

19:00 hanging out with bf

21:20 making myself a drink and homework

22:40 shower 

23:20 game on computer

00:40 sleeeep 

10:00 breakfast

10:20 frying pancakes

10:40 coffee, meds

11:00 hanging out

11:40 making the dough and then cooking dinner 

13:20 making the bed

13:30 dinner

13:50 cuddling :3 

14:35 pee

14:45 homework + watching a tv show 

16:50 poop

17:15 baking 

19:20 eating what i baked :3

19:30 laundry and my parents called 

19:50 cleaning the kitchen 

20:10 homework + netflix

21:45 shower 

22:20 cleaning the kitchen 2

i have to wake up early tmrw and im tired i dont knowwwww 

october 11th/12th

hi im gonna tell you about my day :D

its 12:43 and im setting up stuff for studying 

13:28 i just took out the laundry and talked with my boyfriend but what he said kind of made me sad 

14:30 i just finished playing some video games 

october 12th

12:30 helping my bf dye his hair 

13:10 skincare/bathroom routine

13:15 meds

13:20 trying out new paint 

13:50 looking for my paints

14:05 cleaning my paint box 

14:45 homework

15:40 snack and hanging out with bf 

17:10 cooking dinner

18:25 dinner 

18:45 homework

19:20 poop break 

19:40 cuddling and talking with my boyfriend 

21:25 fries 

21:55 shower

22:30 checking email and other stuff

22:50 brushing ny teeth

23:00 english homework

23:15 pee 

hospital errands

im on the train. i hate going there. everything about that city gives me the ick. i wanna throw up. im gonna waste half my day to go there and i dont even know if im gonna get the results and info i need from them. im in a bad mood especially because it was so bad last time i was here. i hope i meet nicer workers this time but im not that hopeful. i have to charge my phone. 

i plugged it in. my throat hurts. i shouldnt go to the hospital with this much of a cold but i have to go today. i didnt have any classes today but my boyfriend is really busy. i'll meet him in the evening. falling asleep was nice yesterday night. 

my ass hurts from sitting on this train seat...... 

my afternoon :D

17:15 i just got off the phone with my mother 

17:30-18:10 baking cookies 

18:10-18:25 drawing

18:25 making chocolate glaze and cleaning up 

18:50 laying in bed

19:00 laundry